No birthday celebration for Dementia Donald Trump would be complete without the requisite bowing and scraping from those who work for him and have to try to stay on his good side.
Such was the case yesterday when Donnie turned 80 years old, even though he looks at least 10 years older than that, is at least 100 pounds overweight, and sports massive cankles. Oh, and his hands are badly bruised, which the White House claims is due to his taking aspirin to thin his blood.
In a true North Korean-esque devotion, the Trump cabinet took turns soothing their master’s doubts about aging, and their social media postings will live in infamy.
Vice President JD Vance praised his boss as “the GOAT.”
Secretary of State Marco Rubio also slathered his master with love, posting, “America is lucky to have a leader with such incredible courage, remarkable strength, an unmatched sense of humor, and an unparalleled love of country.”
Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent then joined the worship chorus “America First leadership is exactly what this moment demands.”
Whiskey Pete Hegseth, who leads the Defense Department, also slathered on praise: “It is the honor of a lifetime to serve under you.”
Jeffrey Epstein groupie Howard Lutnick, the Commerce Secretary, was also eager to polish Don’s knob, claiming, “It has been the greatest privilege of my life to know and serve you in this historic administration.”
How did Trump respond? He didn’t. He was far too busy watching as steroid-addicted UFC fighters beat each other to a pulp on the White House lawn, turning what used to be the people’s house into a mockery.
How did the Roman Empire end? You don’t need to worry about asking. All you have to do is take a look at the jackasses currently running the United States.
