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Captain Obvious Trump Admits, ‘I’m Not Heaven-Bound’

Donald Trump is going to hell.

Granted, that won’t shock most sentient humans, but it’s more than a bit surprising to hear Trump himself admit that he’s headed for eternal torment when he shuffles off his mortal coil.

The so-called “president” was aboard Air Force One, headed to Jerusalem to address the Israeli Knesset, when he was asked by Peter Doocy of Fox News, “A couple weeks ago you were doing an interview and you talked about how you hoped to end the war in Ukraine because it might help you get into heaven. How does this help? Does this help?”

“I mean, I’m being a little cute,” Trump replied with a slight laugh. “I don’t think there’s anything gonna get me in heaven, I really don’t… I think I’m maybe not heaven-bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly in Air Force One, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make heaven. But I’ve made life better for a lot of people.”

Trump’s remarks drew immediate reaction on social media, with some suggesting Donnie had better get used to the idea of being Satan’s minion.

Picture of Will Greene

Will Greene

I've been a writer and reporter for over a decade and graduated from Northwestern with a degree in English. I live in the Southwest USA.
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