Braggart-in-Chief and alleged president Donald Trump decided he’d do what he does most often during remarks he made yesterday at a board dinner for the Kennedy Center: Pat himself on the back while simultaneously proving that he’s a massive steaming heap of human excrement.
Trump began by boasting that, thanks to his efforts, the Olympics and the FIFA World Cup would be held in the United States.
“We got the Olympics and then we got through Gianni, he’s the boss, he’s a friend of mine, we got the World Cup,” he said. “I got them both and I said, ‘Man, I won’t be president. I got the Olympics and the World Cup and I won’t be president and they’re gonna forget that I got them, nobody’s gonna mention it.’”
Trump continued, “And then they rigged the election, and then I said, ‘You know what I’ll do? I’ll run again and I’ll shove it up their ass.’”
“And that’s what I did, and all of a sudden, and then I realized, I said, ‘You know what? I got the Olympics, I got the World Cup.’”
“So if they would’ve left us alone, and wouldn’t have cheated on the election, and wouldn’t have rigged it, I would’ve been retired right now,” he concluded. “I would’ve been happily doing something else, and instead they have me for four more years, can you believe that?”
Donald Trump ran for president in 2024 for one reason and one reason only: To stay out of prison. He was terrified he would be convicted on several of the state and federal counts against him, especially the ones regarding his role in the January 6, 2021 insurrection at the US Capitol.
The 2020 election wasn’t “stolen” from Trump. He lost and he lost badly, due in large part to his monumental mishandling of the COVID pandemic, which left nearly 1.2 million Americans dead. That’s the largest death toll of any country on the planet.
So, Donnie, here’s a suggestion: Why don’t you stick it up your ass and try being a man instead of a spoiled 2-year-old?
